Ying and Yang part 25 - Beautiful yet cruel world

I woke an hour or so before sunrise, not knowing why since I normally sleep later than anybody else and I’m normally the last one ready. I began scanning my surroundings noticing Kanda’s peaceful sleeping face, his shallow breathing was almost angelic, I smiled to myself thinking this will probably be the last time and only time I get to see him looking so defenceless. Trying not to wake him I moved the loose threads of hair covering his face and pinned them behind his ear, carefully brushing my finger against his cheeks and sighed “I’m like a perverted stalker” I quickly removed my finger from his face and began gently removing the quilt on my side only, painstakingly moving at a turtle pace and began unzipping the tent door. Almost blinded by the sudden light I scrunched my eyes closed then began slowly opening them making sure to adjust them to the light “Fogy morning, huh?” I scanned the open plains where we set up camp, not noticing anything dangerous or wrong I began quietly slipping out of the tent and greeted the cold wind “Wow, I didn’t notice how open this plain was” I began looking around the grass wasn’t tall but it wasn’t neatly kept, a few patches were crunched down from where people have been walking, the tree’s had an almost eerie shadow feel to them making the hairs on my arms stand up, I bent down and began pulling Kanda’s exorcist jacket to cover myself up with.

I began moving across the plain over to Lavi and Lenalee’s tent “Lenalee?” I asked but no answer “Lavi?” I whispered but again no answer “good” I muttered and began walking over to Allen’s and Yang’s tent “Yang, Allen?” again no answer I smiled thinking to myself I get some private time to myself! I pulled my arms through Kanda’s jacket and began doing the buttons I slipped on my boots, tucking in my pj bottoms and began looking over in the distance “Let’s go explore?” I asked myself, plodding alongside the lining of the tree’s making sure I knew my way back I began humming, I’m not normally a morning person but when I get my own private time to myself it does perk up my spirits! Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a tiny object moving “What’s that?” I turned into the direction where the object moved and began looking “It’s not here anymore, I guess?” quickly scanning close to myself it seemed to have gotten scared away “Oh well” I began again on my walk.

Not actually taking any notice of my footing I stumbled over something “Whoa!” catching myself on one of the tree’s steadying myself “What the hell was that?” I turned to see a injured wolf “Holy shit” I began to step away not knowing what to really do “Is it dead, god I hope it’s dead” I started to inch forward, picking up a stick I began poking the wolf “Hey, are you alive?” I poked it again this time a little harder than a sudden but painful whelp came from the wolf’s mouth “Oh shit! I’m so sorry!” I began frantically scanning the scenery “How’d you get so injured?!” still thinking to myself how could I help? I reached into Kanda’s pockets but found nothing of any use, I tip-toed over to the wolfs side and began looking over the wounds on its body “You’ve gotten yourself into some pretty bad shape, my friend” I placed myself next to the wolfs head and began stroking its fur softly “Are you in that much pain?” the wolf yet again let out a whimpering sound “I don’t know how to help” feeling tears well up in my eyes “Nor do I think anyone else I’m with will as well” I sniffed, wiping away the now free tear running down my face “I’ll keep you company until the end” I looked up to the sky I noticed how dark and unpleasant it was “it’s a pretty bad day to die, huh?” I asked knowing I wouldn’t get a reply, the wolf whimpered again. Knowing all too well I really couldn’t do anything to help I laid down beside the wolf and looking into his eyes “Are you afraid?” I questioned knowing the wolf wouldn’t understand but it was always a question I feared “I won’t leave you alone, don’t worry” As I said these words the wolf’s eyes began to slowly close “That’s right, my friend, Sleep” I gently placed my hand on the side of the wolf’s chest “Sleep” a single tear rolled down my face leaving a trail of emotions.

I could feel the wolf’s breathing getting shallower and shallower until his heart stopped “Goodbye my friend” turning on my back now looking at the morning sky I sobbed for the wolf I couldn’t understand or let alone save.

As the minutes went by I glanced back at the wolf, I noticed shadows moving in the background “what?” I pulled myself up to get a better view to be in the direct line of two cubs “babies?” I glanced down at the wolf “Were you their father?” I shook myself “More children without a father” I glanced back at the now descending cubs “I guess God decides when we die” I glanced back at the father of the cubs’ lifeless body “Did you protect them?” I scrunched my eyes up into a painful expression “Did you try to save your babies?” a dull pain began to form within my throat “You’ve shielded your own babies” covering my own face I began to sob louder this time “Why do father’s always have the painful job of dying for their young?” more and more streams of tears rolled down my face “Why did you die?” the pain within my chest was unbearable to the point my sobs were echoing through the forest “Dad, why did you die?” I threw my head back, forcing myself to look at the sky “I guess…” I clenched my fists into my legs “I couldn’t help yet another living being, Dad” tears still falling I felt a wet sensation, flinching at the coldness of it I looked down to notice the cubs’ had found their father “You’re alone now” I tried to put my hand upon one of the cubs’ head but it instantly jumped back protecting itself “You’re pretty strong for a wee thing” I smiled I flopped back down on my back and glanced into the direction of the still scared cub “Are you afraid of me?” I asked “Don’t be” I nodded feeling a little better “You’ll be fine wolfs’ one day” the sun began shining upon the patch I laid down on “Wolf Father?” I chuckled at the name but before I could react one of the cubs pounced onto my chest “Whoa, there tiger!” panting at the joy of something new to play with it began jumping back and forward “You want to play?” a sudden tiny whimper came from my left.

Glancing to the side I noticed the cub who was afraid of me is now bumping its head into his fathers “Sorry, kiddo. He’s gone” he bumped again and again until the sheer pain of looking at him annoyed me “Kiddo he’s dead!” I shouted, grabbing hold of him and placing him close against my chest I began softly stroking the little thing “You’ll be strong” I placed him in front of his little sister cub “Since you have something to protect” I smiled thinking of Yang “And so do I, so I know you’ll be fine” the little wolf cub looking up Into my face and whimpered, I could see my old self in this little cub “Don’t worry, I’m here” I patted the little ones head and began humming again “We need to bury your father” I placed both cubs down and began digging using my hands, the cubs noticing  what I was doing began joining in “You’re helping?”.

After the grave was dug out and re-covered I placed my hands together and began praying for the Papa wolf’s safe trip to the heavens “May you rest in peace and find what you’ve been searching for”. The little cubs’ began circling my feet “Now what am I going to do with you two?” I sighed happily “I don’t think Kanda would take a liking to you both but I know someone else who would” I happily sung, crouching down I picked the little cubs’ up and placed them into Kanda’s jacket keeping them warm I began my journey back.

As I got back to the tents I noticed that everyone except Lavi had woken up, Yang noticed me approaching “Nee-Chan where have you been?” noticing my hands she became curious “Why are your hands so dirty?” one of her eyebrows raised higher than the other “I buried a Papa wolf” giving my head a little tilt in the direction of the grave “A papa wolf?” a little shocked she began shaking her head “why?” I shrugged “Because it’s better to die with someone then to die alone” I placed myself besides her keeping my facial expression the same she began patting my shoulder “I guess so”.

Suddenly the boy cub popped his head out “Whoa! Nee-Chan!” Yang began standing up “Are those wolf cubs?!” Lenalee, Lavi and Allen began looking into my direction “I guess so?” I smiled Yang shook her head “Why did you bring them back with you?” I stood up undoing the buttons on Kanda’s jacket “Look” I placed the cubs onto the floor near my feet but neither one of them moved they kept themselves close, Yang yelp in happiness “they’ve imprinted on you!” Yang began flapping her hands like crazy “how?” she asked a little stunned as well I raised my shoulders “I guess, burying their father and helping them was the key?” I could feel Kanda’s glares burning into my face “I’m sorry Kanda” I raised my hands up “I didn’t exactly mean for this to happen!” Lenalee bumped into him “Aren’t they cute, Kanda?” her pressuring smile began to crack his cold expression “I guess” he scuffled “What are you going to call them, Panda-Chan?” I looked over at Allen who was now bending down trying to get the attention of the cubs’ “I have no idea on that matter Allen” a little surprised at my response he laughed “How about Hiroki for joy and strength and Isamu for courage?” he looked up giving a thoughtful but serious expression a little taken back at the sudden serious Allen, Yang pounced on his back “You’re so naming our children!” Allen’s face began to shade into a dark pink and sudden burst of laughter surrounded us, I glanced around noticing everyone’s expressions Lenalee was crying with laughter at the remark, Kanda had a smile across his face while he shook his head, Allen was now hiding his embarrassed face and Yang hugged him while grinning miraculously a sudden but strong emotion crossed over me “What a beautiful world” I mutter wiping away a tear.